Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
