I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
what day is it and did you see me today?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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