you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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