Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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