alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
How's work?
Spinning.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
