apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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