i may or may not be watching the land before time
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
