i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
