On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
