Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
