Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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