sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just google imaged poop.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
