Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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