uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
