This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Found your dick twin last night
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize