we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think your dad took our porno
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
