i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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