why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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