What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
