it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
