Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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