It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
well you can't waste a boner
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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