As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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