I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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