I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Porn is love you can see.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
