OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
