time to smoke my breakfast
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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