so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
