Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
