Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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