So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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