Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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