Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
