I wish my penis had an off switch
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This toilet bowl is my home.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
