So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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