He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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