Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
