what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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