WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
