I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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