its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
