He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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