so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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