Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
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ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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