I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
