I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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