I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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