at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
