What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
