This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
