they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
