I wish my penis had an off switch
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
