My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
