I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
