In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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